There are certain restrictions that come with surviving a sudden cardiac arrest (SCA) and living with an ICD. Depending on your heart condition, that list of restrictions may be longer than for other survivors.

Either way, no one likes to be told they suddenly have to stop doing something they love doing. 

The list of things I had to stop doing is, I believe, a pretty standard one that many cardiac arrest survivors receive. 

I was told to avoid any sports that would raise my heartbeat over 130 beats per minute, which, honestly, is a bit absurd. If I followed this rule of my cardiologist to the letter, I can’t go for a run or even walk up a steep hill.

I was also told to stop scuba diving—something I love doing! I also can’t engage in any contact sports, like a fighting sport or acro yoga. And I can’t do anything that may damage the ICD, like snowboarding or motocross. (However, I have discovered a workaround by wearing the Vital Beat t-shirt, which makes these activities possible. Check the article I wrote about the shirt.)

Still, this list of restrictions wasn’t easy for me to accept.

On top of that, the list may get even longer with all sorts of symptoms you may experience in the aftermath of surviving this cardiac arrest or with the worsening condition of your heart. 

For me, feelings of dizziness, brain fog, nausea, and blurred vision have become a consistent part of each day.

These conditions have put a limitation on the things I can do with friends, trips I can go on, and sports I can engage in due to my lack of energy and the general feelings of sickness that I have to manage.

The list feels endless. And at times, it only seems to grow longer.

Having had all these possibilities my whole life, having enjoyed them all, and having felt great whilst doing them, it is a major struggle for me to deal with this sudden restriction. 

At times, it makes me wonder if surviving this cardiac arrest was such a miracle after all. It often rather feels like a curse inflicted upon me.